Many years ago in a stable university building somewhere in the old country, the internet was born a virgin birth and with that birth came the promise of sharing, enlightenment and good will to all mankind.
Shining in the heavens there was a light that was guiding the way for 3 wise men to come to offer up gifts on behalf of all human kind, however it took these wise men a little more time to pay homage to that birth in this story than it did in the original, but for the sake of a good read we will omit that…
When the wise men finally arrived to pay their respects to the omnipotent entity that is the Internet they brought with them a gift, each gift was unique and precious and were the most valued commodity in their respective right
The first gift was Golden Content, this gift is what makes the internet special and it is what makes the internet what it is, a place full of wisdom, experience and a truck load of distractions.
This wisdom is what the internet imparts on to its users whether that be, how to rebuild a 69 Chevy impala from the ground up, how to put mp3’s on my iPod or even how to diagnose those itchy red spots that came up overnight; there is wisdom to be had.
This content is what people turn to the internet for; it is what makes it what it is. Your input unto this ethereal being is what people are praying to the keyboard to receive, so like the pages of the great work that is revered, everything that is written must have merit otherwise, it’s not worth writing.
The second gift was Myrrhish (if you know what myrrh is you will find this quite fitting) Links, this is the word of the internet, it is it’s preachers. Many a sermon is conducted every day, and those sermons have a theme, that theme may be 50 ways to get your site noticed or keyboard cat get himself played off, however when many respected preachers talk about a theme and that theme happens to be content that you have written, then the flock listen.
They take note and they too, hear the words that you have scribed, and they like their missionary brothers and sisters before them, spread the word.
Most people can tell a preacher who sprukes the word of the false idols. They talk about too many unrelated passages in the content Bible, and they are penalised for it. I for one have never heard a sermon on the benefits of the sham wow then seconds later told of the awesomeness of Viagra and believed that that preacher was a worthy voice of my God.
Steer clear of being talked about by these snake oil preachers, have the Pope read your passage at his next Sunday mass and many more people will pay much more attention.
The final gift was the sweet Frankincense smell of keywords. The words that bring the right congregation together, for many a Puritan prayer meeting has been outraged by the minister launching into the hallowed tome written to appease Achtland, the Celtic goddess of Wanton love.
The sign outside the church that is visited every Sunday must clearly state what religion is to found within. The good folk will seek out these keywords when looking for their congregation, when they move for site to site hunting for others who follow the teachings that they hold so dear.
One must pay respect to these gifts that have travelled so far and been given by so many, if you don’t also give these gifts of Content, Links and Keywords the great and almighty will penalise you and you will lose your revered congregation. They will never get to hear your sermon on ways to describe S.E.O and be sure, they will never listen unless you make it interesting, singing and dancing has its place in every experience, hallelujah brother! Praise the lord!!!